I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Do you still have your period?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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