Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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