Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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