I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
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so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
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got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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