I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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