I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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