I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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