Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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