Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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