No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize