what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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