I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
