He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
