My Higher Power is John Stamos
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
