woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
