I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
