i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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