i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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