you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
