well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
