i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
