no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
