cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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