He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
