Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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