Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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