i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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