Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
