Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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