he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
