also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
