Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
