No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you made out with another girl for some wings
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
