I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
no more duck duck goose at the bar
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
