Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I need help removing her.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases