dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dating After Heartbreak
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.