Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
