guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?