I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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