I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.