That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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