It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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