He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
