I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
