He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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