You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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