I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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