with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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