Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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