I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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