so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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