Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
