saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
