Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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