when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
