The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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