You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
