He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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