omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
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Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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