we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize