Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
