Do you still have your period?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He better not be in your backpack
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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