I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
